Guest Blog // Parenthood in the 21st Century: Anna

Hello, world! I wanted to try something new and fresh. What better way to do that than to have someone else take over your blog??

A question that has been tugging at my mind over the last couple years has been, "How has child-rearing and parenthood changed in this 'age of technology' ... or has it changed?"

From that initial question, others have formulated. I have been friends with ---> Anna <--- since we were in K-5. She now has a daughter who is two and a half years old! (I still can't believe it!) Since she is raising her daughter in this day and age, I wanted to ask her these questions for some honest answers!

I'm turning over the blog to her today for some "current parenthood" wisdom! Thanks, Anna!

Obviously I knew that having a child was going to change our lives drastically and for the better, but I was not ready for a few little things...

A) The amount of tiredness. Honestly, you know you are going to have some sleepless nights, but seriously it was all the time with Charlotte. She had her days and nights mixed up, so she slept a lot during the day and was up a lot during the night. And I truly believe that a sleepless night would have been better than being woken up every hour or two to feed her. It's exhausting just drifting off to sleep to be woken up again.
B) I seriously believe that your sleep patterns also change drastically -- I used to be a pretty heavy sleeper, but since Charlotte was born, I wake up to her just having a little cough or even a few times to her just turning over in her crib. I think that is a God thing to make sure that even when we rest, we can still be vigilant.
C) The amount of diapers you go through in the beginning is outstanding!! It was a learning curve to realize that even if she had just peed, as soon as you take that diaper off, she is going to pee again because she has been exposed to the cold. I couldn't tell you how many times I have been peed on. Ha ha!
D) The most important thing I realized was that no matter how much you think you are going to love your child, you are NEVER prepared for the amount of immediate affection you are going to have. There is no other love that can replace holding your baby for the first time, the first time they smile, the first time they laugh. It is such a blessing.

Before I had Charlotte, I vowed up and down that she was not going to have a tablet, and she would be playing all the time -- with movies/TV being very rare. Oh how I was wrong!! This child loved Little Baby Bum (a British kids' nursery rhyme show) from very early-on. The music, the shapes, the colors -- she was entranced. And it was instructional. I swear she learned her colors, numbers, and shapes from this show. I really do think that is why she knows a lot of things as early-on as she does.
 
I think that every parent has every right to say how much a kid can have "screen time," but I also think that every kid is different. Charlotte is a terror out in public at a restaurant, so we always give her her tablet. We need some sanity at times, too, so that is why we do it. Will we pay for this in a few years? Probably. But for now we are doing what keeps her happy and behaving. I feel that you can still have screen time and a child still have an imagination. Charlotte has a fake kitchen, and she loves to make us food. She plays with the few Barbies that she has. She actually just named her first one the other day -- Sarah!

I believe that the old way of a kid being "seen but not heard" is archaic and demeaning. I believe that the biggest time children are learning is in their first 5 years.  They need to be able to play, express themselves, and be a little loud at times! Let them learn about life through experiencing it. I am so glad that we no longer have this idea of having a child just to shuck them off to a nanny so we can live our life just the way we were pre-child.

Regardless of when you are growing up, where you are from, or who your parents are, I firmly believe that RESPECT is something you have to ingrain into a child. I do not think it is innate.  Charlotte fights me a lot on "her manners" as she so delicately puts it. Respect is huge. I believe that if it is not taught early-on, the child will have so many more problems starting school. Kids need to understand that there are boundaries regardless of how much they like to push them. You can tell children like to test out the waters -- Charlotte will look me dead in the face before she does something that she KNOWS she isn't supposed to do. And in those cases where she does step out of line, we quickly correct it.  She has started to learn little things day by day.  The other day she accidentally stepped on my foot and she apologized. She spilled her juice - she said, "Uh-oh! Sorry mommy - I made mess!" She understands that there are things she can control and things that she can't. I firmly believe that parents have to be that firm hand, guiding their young children to learn and do the right things. So I would say respect is something that should never change in the way someone parents his/her child.

Understand that your idea of parenting may be different than someone else's. That does not mean you are wrong or right. I had so many people telling me how I needed to raise Charlotte. How long I needed to nurse, when she needed to get rid of her bottle, when she needed to be potty trained, when she needed a haircut, when she didn't need a haircut, that she didn't need a bedtime. I had to stop listening to other's un-requested advice because I was going crazy. YOU as the mom/parent should be able to know what is best for your child. But when you don't, THEN (and only then) when you ask for advice -- be ready to hear many different versions of "right." My life, my husband's life, and Charlotte's life became so much more relaxed when I finally stopped trying to please others and how they thought I should raise our child. We started raising her the way we thought we should be.  Loving on her and praising her accomplishments, correcting her when necessary, teaching her "her prayers" and working on "her manners" have all been our goals for the last few months. We have seen huge improvements in all of our lives!

Author of Simply Blessed