Baby BAsh

We're pregnant.

If I'm being one hundred percent honest, I never really thought I would say those words. Don't get me wrong, I had always envisioned having kids. I love kids. However, I always thought MY announcement would be "We're adopting." I never had a drive to want to grow them in my own body, however amazing it is to think about. I wanted to adopt children who were already here and who wanted a family. In fact, the desire I had to adopt was (and is) so strong that I think I convinced myself that God was only going to grant us that option. Well. I was wrong!

Meeting Justin and talking with him about children (over and over and over) changed certain things and did not change certain things for me. I still would love to adopt a child ... but I (obviously) opened up to the possibility of "cooking one up" right at home. It is still a shock to me. I don't know if the reality has fully hit.

We found out on Christmas Eve. While picking up some last-minute stocking-stuffers for Justin, I got a feeling to just pick up some pregnancy tests as well. We had our Homer Christmas Eve Brunch, Christmas gift opening for Aryl, and afternoon of games earlier in the day.

When we got home, I told Justin straight up,
"I'm going to take a pregnancy test if you want to come in here to watch."
Almost immediately, a plus sign filled the circle.
"I'm going to do one more."
We waited. Same thing.
"I think it may be the pack ... maybe we should go pick up more."
At this point, Justin tells me to "hold on." I walk into the living room and see him digging around in MY stocking. Yep. He pulls out a box of pregnancy tests that HE picked up earlier that day as well. (Weirrrdd.) So we did both of those only to come up with the same result: we were pregnant!
Wow. What a crazy feeling.

We knew it was early, but we wanted to tell our parents ... so we told them on Christmas Day. Then on New Year's Eve and New Year's Day, we told our siblings. Those are fun stories as well. :)

Now that we've had our first couple appointments, I can say that the feeling of excitement is slowly taking over my feelings of doubt, fear, nervousness, and panic. It sounds so so horrible to say, but those are truly the only things I felt at the beginning, considering I only wanted to adopt kids.

Things I'm looking forward to at this point in time:
-finding out the gender as soon as possible ... #planner
-nesting: getting the nursery ready, decorating, rearranging, etc. Again ... I'm a planner.
-figuring out the changes that will take place once BAsh is here *side note: BAsh is a nickname lovingly given by my friend, Dot. #BAsh = BabyAsh*
-getting updates from the doctors and pregnancy apps
-liking hot drinks again (Yes. Almost immediately, I no longer liked hot coffee, cider, tea, or hot chocolate. Looking forward to the day I want a cup of hot coffee.)
-enjoying food again
-choosing BAsh's name

I know those are very small things to look forward to compared to the "big picture," but sometimes it's the little things.

Thanks for all the love! (We could definitely use any and all prayers as well.)