Quiet.

Over the course of my life, I have been misread and misunderstood by quite a few people (mainly extroverts).

I have been called "stuck up" and "snobby."
*I am just shy at times.*

I have been told on different occasions that I was antisocial, rude, boring, unpleasant, or "too serious."
*I get overwhelmed when there is too much stimulation and start to shut down.*

I've had people imply that something was wrong with me.
*I'm sorry you feel that way.*

I also cannot COUNT how many times I've been asked a variant of this question: "You don't say much, do you?"
*No, actually. I prefer to listen until I feel there's something I need to say.*

Note: none of these people knew me on a personal level.

However, I have had the privilege of making friends with MANY extroverts who took the time to notice me for ME on a deeper, personal level. In fact, most of my friends are extroverts, including my husband. I am drawn to both introverts and extroverts for different reasons. My extrovert husband and friends complete a part of me that is lacking, and I complete a part of them. My more introverted friends and I have an understanding, respect, and bond together. We are the same, so we know what to expect.

I just finished this book, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking.

This book was not about bashing extroverts at all. Rather, it is a book explaining why introverts are the way we are, why we act the way we do, and why extroverts can be confused (and sometimes offended) by our actions. (Which is why I feel both extroverts AND introverts should read this book.) It was packed full of wonderful, informative facts that had me wanting to know more about "my kind." Introversion goes a lot deeper than just "a choice" to be the way we are. It's scientific.

I want to include some of my favorite quotes/sections of this book.

"Our lives are shaped as profoundly by personality as by gender or race."

"[Rosa] Parks didn't have the stuff to thrill a crowd if she'd tried to stand up and announce that she had a dream. But with [Martin Luther] King [Jr.'s] help, she didn't have to." (A wonderful example of why both introverts and extroverts compliment each other.)

"Intoverts are drawn to the inner world of thought and feeling, said Jung, extroverts to the external life of people and activities. Introverts focus on the meaning they make of the events swirling around them; extroverts plunge into the events themselves. Introverts recharge their batteries by being alone; extroverts need to recharge when they don't socialize enough."

"[Intoverts] listen more than they talk, think before they speak, and often feel as if they express themselves better in writing than in conversation."

"The word introvert is not a synonym for hermit or misanthrope."

"Artists work best alone."

"If this is true - if solitude is an important key to creativity - then we might all want to develop a taste for it."

"The most effective teams are composed of a healthy mix of introverts and extroverts, studies show, and so are many leadership structures."

"We can stretch our personalities, but only up to a point. Our inborn temperaments influence us, regardless of the lives we lead."

"Introverts have wide-open information channels, causing them to be flooded with stimulation and over-aroused."

"[Introverts] have difficulty when being observed (at work, say, or performing at a music recital) or judged for general worthiness (dating, job interviews) ... describe themselves as creative or intuitive ... love music, nature, art, physical beauty ... tend to notice subtleties that others miss."

Elanor Roosevelt said, "I think people who are shy remain shy always, but they learn how to overcome it."

"When sensitive people are in environments that nurture their authenticity, they laugh and chitchat just as much as anyone else."

"Introverts are 'geared to inspect,' and extroverts are 'geared to respond.' "

"None of this is to denigrate those who forge ahead quickly, or blindly glorify the reflective and careful. The point is that we tend to overvalue buzz and discount the risks of reward-sensitivity: we need to find a balance between action and reflection."

"Introverts are capable of acting like extroverts for the sake of work they consider important, people they love, or anything they value highly."

"It's also hard for introverts to understand just how hurtful their silence can be."

"Introverts talking to extroverts chose cheerier topics, reported making conversation more easily, and described conversing with extroverts as a 'breath of fresh air.' In contrast, the extroverts felt that they could relax more with introvert partners and were freer to confide their problems. They didn't feel pressure to be falsely upbeat."

"Respect your loved ones' need for socializing and your own for solitude (and vice versa if you're an extrovert)."

"Read. Cook. Run. Write a story. Make a deal with yourself that you'll attend a set number of social events in exchange for not feeling guilty when you beg off."

"Use your natural powers - of persistence, concentration, insight, and sensitivity - to do work you love and work that matters. Solve problems, make art, think deeply."

I know it feels like I quoted half of the book above, but I loved it all so much. Like the author says many times ... not all extroverts are "one way" and not all introverts are "this way." There will always be a mixture of personalities.

I love to attend parties, but don't like to stay for a very long time. I love to have conversations with people, but don't like to think up "small talk" for no reason. I love to go out on a Friday night, but I also like to stay in on occasion. I love to travel and see new places, but I can't wait to get home and relax when it's all said and done. I love listening and talking to my husband, but sometimes simply reading a book in his presence is enough for me.

I could go on, but if anyone would like a peek inside of an introvert's mind ... this book is lovely.

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