Max's 0-3 Month Update

Wow! Again ... it's been too long since I've been on here. We have gotten used to life as a family of three (for the most part). Max turned three months old on November 27th! It's crazy to think about. I can't believe how much he's changed in just three short months - what people say is so true.

I don't really know how to give a 0-3 month update because I've never really done this before! However, I will try my best to highlight Max's first three months of life.

Eating

I attempted breastfeeding for the first month after pregnancy and did not have an easy time with it at all. A lot of tears and frustration ... which didn't help the situation. Plus, Max was already up to 3-4 ounces at a time very quickly -- so I wasn't producing anywhere CLOSE to that when I would pump.

Our pediatrician told me multiple times (I think he could tell I was struggling) that if I wasn't producing enough and it wasn't working ... just go to formula and it was no big deal... that he was a formula-fed baby (my brother and I were as well)... that his own kid was, etc. etc. Well, I finally made the decision to switch exclusively to formula, and it made life SO much easier and less stressful for both me and Max. Eating times became more intimate and sweet instead of stressful and tear-streaked (plus, Justin could also have the opportunity to feed him if I was extra exhausted).

Now, after three months, Max is eating 6 to 6.5 ounces every 4 to 4.5 hours. He is a BIG eater and gets very "hangry" very quickly if he doesn't get his bottle right on time. He will definitely let us know when he is hungry ... it's mainly the only time he cries unless there's a special situation. He also cries when we have to take a break and burp as well as when the bottle is over. Hahahaha* Like I said ... he loves to eat.

Basic eating schedule for the past month:

• 7:00 morning bottle
• 11:00
• 3:00
• 7:00 (or anywhere around those times)

Our pediatrician told us that at his four month appointment, we would start to talk about certain "foods." So I am super excited about that step!

In closing on this section, I would like to say to the mother who feels the need to "keep on trying" to breastfeed because she feels pressured by those around her that it's really "the only way" -- please make the best decision for YOU and give yourself grace. It took me a while to give grace to myself and not label it a failure on my part (enneagram ones HATE to fail and are their own worst critics), but now that I've been through it -- people who had an easy time breastfeeding WILL NOT understand. So just do what you do. As long as your baby is loved, fed, and happy ... who the heck cares??

Sleeping

Max's sleeping schedule started out like most babies' schedules ... waking up quite a few times in the night. Not only because of hunger, but peeing through his sleeper and wrap. There were many times we only got up to change him, and he went right back to sleep. (Bonus tip: we found out - again - from our pediatrician that part of the reason he was peeing through to his clothes so much was because the nurses in the hospital tell parents to put too much Vaseline on the circumcision. It was basically waterproofing the diaper, so that's why the pee was coming right out. We started only putting a fingertip's worth, and he stopped doing it near as much. SO ... if you are having a boy ... there you go!)

We started him in the crib immediately. We never had him in the same room with us to begin with just because I felt like it would be harder to transition. No judging to anyone who chooses to do otherwise, that was just our decision. It worked out well for us. I will also say that our bedroom is literally eleven steps away from his nursery, so he still was very close. Just not in the same room.

At 1.5 to 2 months, he was still getting just one feeding in the middle of the night. On 11/4/20, he started sleeping through the night! Whoo-hoo! What a good baby. Of course, there have been one or two times where he's needed soothing to go back to sleep, but he has not needed to be fed since that day. What I usually do is go in and sing softly while rubbing his forehead and down his nose. It puts him right back to sleep. Let me tell you, he is ready for that 7am bottle when he wakes up, though!

Our basic bedtime routine:

• 7:00 evening bottle
• Awake/play time
• Bath (if needed)
• Depending on how early the bath, more play time in his sleeper
• If it's pretty close to bedtime, we put him in his sleeper and wrap immediately (these are our favorite wraps at this time).
• I turn on his sound machine/nightlight, walk around the crib over and over while singing a few songs to him, and put him down in the crib awake. He puts himself to sleep. His bed time is 9:00.

Temperament & Activity

This boy is HAPPY. He smiled (really smiled) at me for the first time on 9/14/20. There were other times he smiled before that because of me tickling him, but that was the first big one that came from him looking at me. Justin and I were both happy babies, so I guess a person could say that's why he's so happy. However, I like to think he's happy because of the way we are raising him and loving him! He's just started to giggle a little here and there around the three-month mark, so I can't wait until he gets those uncontrollable baby giggles.

Of course, we have tummy time, play time, walking-around-and-letting-him-look-at-things time, outside time, etc. But some specifics he's been doing lately are pulling things into his mouth (constant), grabbing at and gripping things, and pulling himself up onto his side ... hasn't rolled over without help yet. He also is constantly moving, kicking, baby talking, and drooling (yes, this is normal ... his teeth are starting their way up even though we won't see them for a while). We have a bib on him constantly at this point. He's also holding his head up pretty well! Not one hundred percent independent, but a very strong boy. It won't be long.

My Recovery

If you read Max's birth story, you already know that I had to have a c-section. It was extremely painful and swollen once we got home. The heavy meds they gave me saved me. The big transformation in how I felt was right at two weeks. It was like I woke up and everything felt so much better. I will say I was very healthy for the most part during my pregnancy: not many cravings at all other than CFA in the first trimester. However, I still gained 41 pounds. I lost over half pretty quickly afterwards and was back in my pre-pregnancy clothes, but am still working on getting back to where I was when I got pregnant. I am learning to give myself grace in this area as well. I am happy, though, that I'm able to easily run at least 2-2.5 miles without stopping now. Baby steps! The main thing that has happened to me is that I have de quervain's tenosynovitis (thanks, Anna, for diagnosing me). Thank goodness I only have it in my left hand/wrist ... I know someone who had it in both and had to wear wrist braces! It's extremely painful, and I do not wish it on anyone. That's really the only negative thing I can think of ...

How are "the parents" doing?

Justin and I have been doing well. Of course, we knew it was going to be a huge shift in how we do things. But once Max was finally "here," it definitely has taken some getting used to juggling it all. I guess one thing I would say about becoming parents is not to write off still getting out and doing things you normally do. Yes, it's a little harder and more exhausting sometimes, but don't stop your life or think that it's over. Haha* Justin has been super helpful when he's home. He's shifted into dad mode pretty easily; I never worry about Max when it's just him.

I went back to work on October 23rd, and I'm finally feeling like I've figured out the daily routine. Still haven't figured out how to add a consistent workout time in, but it will come!

Biggest tips I can give for the "daily morning routine" are:

• have all of the baby's bags packed, stocked, and ready the night before
• have a mental list of the basics that always need to be in the bag
• have the car seat sitting out and ready for the transition from the bed to car seat
• pick out your own clothes and prep the coffee the night before
• in the morning close to leaving time, pack the car, feed the animals, and have literally everything done so all you have to do is put the baby in the car seat and go.

Again ... I'm being bossy from a enneagram one standpoint. Obviously you do not HAVE to do any of this. I've just found it to be really helpful in the mornings - lists in general are the way to go.

I know this has been long-winded ... so sorry! I got carried away I guess. Here are some ending thoughts:

1. Let go of certain things, even if just for a little while.
2. Make your own routine, but if you can't stick to it one day - don't sweat it! It will be okay.
3. EVERYone has an opinion... and EVERYone is going to tell you their opinion. Listen, but don't beat yourself up if you aren't doing what they say "is right." Every child is different and just because it worked for one does not mean it works for all.
4. Let people help.
5. You are doing a GREAT job.